Housework – The New Aphrodisiac?

Less dust, more lust! Recent research revealed a connection between housework and love-making; the more you do around the house, the more often you’re likely to have sex with your partner. What are we to make of this? Does nothing get us hotter under the collar than the roar of the vacuum cleaner? Has science finally shed light on why we find French maid costumes so kinky? Let’s look at some facts…

Housework, a common issue?

Housework has frequently presented itself as one of the six most common issues found in the studies focused on both happy and unhappy couples. Researchers believe there to be two main reasons for this; the first is that cleanliness is actually a big deal for most women. An unclean home can be the sources of stress and frustration for some. Science has already shown than men relax after sex, whereas women need to be relaxed to want to have sex. See the connection? Dirty house = stress = I’ve got a headache = a frustrated couple.

The second reason is to do with women feeling frustrated over the lack of respect shown by their partners. Those who, unasked, make a willing contribution are the ones who score. Those who still consider housework to be women’s work, or simply refuse to pitch in, are creating far more relationship problems. “It makes sense in terms of contemporary relationships,” says couples expert Gary Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D. “More and more, people expect equitable sharing, so when that happens, the relationship meets expectations—and that increases satisfaction.”

However, men are doing more housework than any prior generation, although polls have shown that the sexes disagree on how much men are contributing. When asked to estimate their input, women in one study guessed around 33%, while the men guessed 42%. In fact, the men’s real contribution was between the two of them at 39%. What does this show? Most of us, most of the time, in most of the world, think we are better than most people. Research is rife with examples of this – in a car accident, both parties involved will generally blame the other driving for causing the crash. Or when a student fails and exam, they blame the teacher, the lack of preparation, or the horrid exam conditions. So, what are we to do about it?

Man holds woman against table, getting ready for sex

The Next Step

If you think you’re guilty of not doing your fair share around the house, it might be time to pick up that feather duster and lend a helping hand. “How much housework is a fair share?” – I hear you ask? There is no right or wrong answer here. The best way to determining the right amount is to simply discuss with your partner what she considers a fair distribution and starting there. Long-term studies have shown that a man in an unhappy relationship who picks up a sweeping brush and show’s he’s on the same side as his girl, will do more than sweep cobwebs away.

Why not do more than your fair share and really make an impression? Spontaneously, cleaning the house and cooking your partner dinner will help her relax. After all, there’s one less thing to worry about after a long day at the office. Set the mood with roses and candles, and suggest you head to the bedroom for dessert (you can thank us later). The bottom line: housework, when shared, doesn’t shut down sex—it opens the door for more of it. Partners who understand this don’t experience divergence between housework and sex. They have more sex not because housework is sexy, but because they are in it together.

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