Alcohol and BDSM – A Bad Move

Drunk couple on bed

Can you be tipsy and still engage kinkily?

Mixing alcohol and play is shunned upon by many BDSM social circles because not only does it loosen your inhibitions but you lose the ability to control yourself, to sense pain, and you lose awareness of your surroundings. Any kind of BDSM can be dangerous and can put you in a compromising position where serious damage can be done. This can occur mentally, physically, and psychologically. This is why safety needs to be your main concern at all times. BDSM is dangerous enough without adding more risk because of a slight, or total, inebriation.

It’s the dominant’s responsibility?

Anytime you drink, you are no longer in your right mind when it comes to being in control of yourself and others. When a sub enters subspace, it is time for the dom to carefully monitor the scene. Is the sub in pain? How are they breathing? Is it time to stop because they are nearing physical damage, even though they are still enjoying it? These are all signs that the dom needs to be constantly looking out for. If the dom is intoxicated, the chances that they will remain observant are greatly reduced. For this reason, it must surely be the responsibility of the dom to remain the sober and lucid partner?

Well, no. The bottom can have their senses dulled to the point where they cannot distinguish between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ pain.  Hence the safeword might be omitted in favor of taking more, and feedback is likely to be minimal. Furthermore, BDSM is based on a level of consent. How consensual will your scene be after you’ve had a few drinks? Therefore, it is the responsibility of both partners to remain sober, clearheaded, and in control at all times.

In a nutshell, we all need to be responsible while drinking. When engaging in kinky play it is best to operate in a safe, effective manner. You may feel you can control your drinking, but your level of control diminishes the more alcohol you consume. And not everyone can handle and control their drinking, as much as they believe otherwise. Scenes can go wrong all on their own, and we need to be constantly aware of the potential dangers that exist at all times. Add alcohol, and your scene could result with a trip to A&E, or worse. Be responsible – enjoy a couple of drinks and get the most out of your BDSM play; just don’t mix the two.  If you’re going to drink, don’t play! If you want to play, don’t drink! Keep them both separate so that you can ensure maximum pleasure and safety in all that you do.

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