A Guide To Talking Dirty

woman on top of man in bed

It’s an area of sex that makes a lot of people feel silly because they’re unsure of how to go about it without feeling ridiculous. But when used, it can be a powerful and seductive tool in the bedroom. Dirty talk is the opportunity to really push back all the boundaries and stops.

Dirty talk, just like sex itself, is something that needs to be calibrated to the individual that is hearing the dirty talk from their partner. Maybe something that you qualify as dirty talk is offensive, or laughable, or insane to your partner.

Setting boundaries

Dirty talk can be kinky and fun. But if there are words used that you or your partner don’t like, it can leave one of you feeling uncomfortable and potentially ruin the moment. There’s no need for a serious discussion – just casually drop it in during a sexy discussion. Once you both know what works and what doesn’t; it’s time to have some fun!

Another thing to remember – what you and your partner say to each other in the bedroom is meant for the bedroom only. Talking dirty is part of sex play and should not be taken seriously in the real world. Just because she lets you call her a “dirty whore” in bed, doesn’t mean that she wants you to use this expression in everyday situations.

Looking for inspiration

As mentioned above; when it comes to talking dirty, many of us feel nervous, uncomfortable and/or uncreative. If you’re in need of inspiration, watch some porn for some suggestions on the kinds of things that people say to each other in bed. Be warned, the dirty talk used in porn is often a little extreme and may be a little too graphic compared with what you had in mind. However, it can help generate some idea.

Watching porn with your partner can also give you an idea into what words work for you both, and could also turn you and her on at the same time. Talk about multi-tasking!

Talking through your experience

This is a great way for those who are uncomfortable at the thought of talking dirty. This is also one of the easiest forms to get started with, because it doesn’t require a lot of imagination.

However, you do need to be comfortable with the words and terms you use. Essentially you will be narrating your sexy encounter: tell your partner how good it feels, what you’re going to do and what you want them to do to you. If you can maintain eye contact as you’re describing it, it’ll be even sexier.

Remember, do not say words that make you feel uncomfortable. Try to be yourself and say the words that come out naturally and quickly spring to mind. Saying words and/or phrases that you wouldn’t normally use could sounds forced and kill the mood.#

Compliment her

You really can’t go wrong if you use dirty talk to praise your girl’s body. Again, this requires no imagination but can work wonders in the bedroom. There is one rule, however: make sure the compliment actually applies. Using false compliments could make her self-conscious and make her think you’re full of crap.

Talking about your fantasy

Revealing your sexiest fantasy is a great way to talk dirty. If you and your partner are really comfortable with each other, just let loose. Tell her everything you’ve always wanted to do and try, and see how much it turns her on. Talking about your fantasy does require a bit of an imaginations; it’s not just coming out with your fantasy but talking it through in detail. Even if the fantasy isn’t theirs, they can see how it would play out and the chances are it’ll get them very excited.

However, proceed with caution. If your fantasy is very illicit, then make sure that you’re both really comfortable with each other before opening up and revealing your deepest darkest fantasy.

Role Play

Role play takes talking dirty up a notch and will require a little more pre-planning than the other forms mentioned above. Don’t let this put you off though, because the extra work is worth it!

The possibilities are endless, so discuss your (and her) fantasies and find a scenario that works for you both. Watching porn clips that act out or touch on your scenario can help suggest set phrases or words that’ll spice things up a little (and will obviously get you both in the mood). Remember, unless one of you is tied up and gagged, role play will require both of you to talk dirty – so you both have to be comfortable first.

Dirty talk is one of those sex acts that some people don’t enjoy, simply because they aren’t sure where to start. They don’t want to get things wrong, but by following the tips above, you’ll be able to ease into it and leave your partner wanting more.

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