A Beginner’s Guide To Edging

Man on top of woman in bed looking at the camera

If your partner cums before you orgasm, then you might already be familiar with edging (also known as “peaking” or “surfing”). The edging technique is essentially orgasm control, in which either you or a partner are brought to the point of orgasm, then stopping just before reaching the peak in order to make the eventual climax strong and more intense. The edging technique can be used either during masturbation or foreplay with a partner, by both sexes, and can be a particularly effective technique in delaying orgasm for guys who suffer from premature ejaculation.

So, why do it? Firstly, the increased blood flow makes the genitals even more sensitive, which in turn makes for a more intense orgasm. It can also spice up masturbation, and allows you to get maximum pleasure while seeing your mental strength. Finally, unlike many other BDSM practices, it doesn’t involve the world of pain play but still offers the power dynamic that is such an integral part of kink.

Start Solo

In masturbation, edging can be a really useful tool for exploration; bringing your awareness to your arousal and experimenting with what it feels like to ride that edge of climax. You can experiment with different rhythms of stimulation, breathing techniques and body movements and learn about your arousal cycle. So, get your hand down your pants and learn to read your body’s reactions.

Don’t go right into edging. Start by warming your body up – touch yourself as you usually would when masturbating. Make sure you’re wet, and then slowly build up the tension and pleasure. It shouldn’t be any different to how you usually pleasure yourself.

You might only be able to last a couple of minutes at the beginning – even that’s an achievement! The longer you prolong yourself from orgasming, the better. So, as you progress, you’ll want to push yourself a bit more and be able to withstand from orgasming for as long as possible.

What Does the Point of No Return (PONR) Feel Like?

It’s different for everyone, but many people experience similar sensations when they’re at the PONR including;

• Shallow breathing
• Body tenses
• You crave more stimulation
• You feel the need to come
• Your attention is focused on your genitals
• Shift in your moans

How Long Do You Edge For?

This question really has no answer.

Everyone is different. Some people like to reach the brink and pull back once or twice, before having an orgasm. Others will choose to edge many times before eventually letting go. And then there are those who like edging so much that they’ll keep doing it over and over again without ever letting themselves come. It’s all a matter of preference.

Tease and Denial

Once you master the edging technique in your masturbation practice, you can bring all of this self-knowledge to your lover. Communication is key. Can your partner feel the tiny contractions of the pelvic muscles that precede orgasm? Can hear their breath changing? Explore ways to keep your arousal high, while incorporating more full body touch. Playing with maintaining arousal with a partner can be a great way to learn about one another, discover new techniques and learn to pay attention and communicate with both precision and passion.

Looking to incorporate edging into your BDSM play?

It’s common in edging to use physical restraints, such as Wrist Cuffs (£40.00, kinky.co.uk), to intensify the helplessness and power dynamic.

Situations involving bondage are typically called “tie and tease”, and include activities that are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.

This can be taken a step further with physical barriers, such as chastity belts or a Cock Blocker (£44.99, kinky.co.uk), that can be used in a session to prevent stimulation and completely deny your partner of an orgasm. For guys, having a cage on can be painful with erections, so it can be part of an SM scene.

Dominant lovers can use edging to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power. Submissive lovers can use it to help them experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of erotic submission, sexualised objectification and erotic loss of control. Edging is surprisingly versatile – so you and your partner can experiment and tailor it to your own needs and fantasies.

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